Today I was deeply moved by Amanda’s story over at Mrs. R’s House.
When she was talking with her dad (an adoption attourney) about finding her birthmother, he recommended that she wait until after she was married, rather than proceeding immediately upon turning 18. According to her dad, many adoptions that take place in that critical year end badly because of what is going on in the birthparents lives at that time. (This won’t be true for all, of course, but because of his background he had more than anecdotal information to draw from.)
The state in Amanda was raised (I believe Utah) provides both parties an “opt out” provision before contact is made. I was struck by the love and concern that each side of Amanda’s triad showed for the others, and I wished that more adoptive parents would have a chance to read it simply because I think it would help to alleviate the anxieties they may be feeling around this subject. (This is not to say that all reunions will include such a happy ending; however, this stories shows what a beautiful thing can happen when each side participates and respects the others.)
Thanks, Amanda, for sharing your story.