Day 17: Leave and Cleave

40day-yellowAs always, begin with the Prayer of Abandonment.

Today’s theme is ‘leave and cleave.’

Children who have been traumatized through early childhood experiences of abuse and neglect often have relational difficulties that extend into adulthood … Even after marriage. Love does not always heal every trauma, every wound.

And yet, for those traumatized by early childhood experiences, or wounded from early relationships, marriage can  be a healing place if the spouse understands the dynamics, and is willing to walk alongside the wounded spouse with patience and gentleness. For the one who has experienced trauma, healing is possible to the degree that we are willing to do the hard work to “leave and cleave,” to take the steps necessary to change the ‘inner narrative’ in order to seek authentic intimacy.

Yesterday we celebrated the feast day of St. Joseph, the beloved spouse of the Blessed Mother. For couples who are struggling to overcome the demons of the past, St. Joseph is a powerful intercessor, as Mother Teresa taught (LWST, 65):

We trust in the power of the name of Jesus and also in the intercessory power of St. Joseph. When we first started our society, there were times when we had nothing. We kept a picture of St. Joseph which we turned face down during those times we were in great need. This reminded us to ask for his intercession. When something came in, we turned it right side up.

Are there any battles you find yourself repeating with your spouse, that could signal unresolved trauma? Consider talking to someone about it, so you might be able to find the healing God wants you to have. Then turn to the Holy Family, and ask them to pray for you, that God would bring healing and peace to you both. (Whether you turn the picture or statue to face the wall … Well, I’ll leave that up to you!)

If you would like prayer for a specific intention, feel free to email me. God bless you both!


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