When a Loved One Dies: “Say His Name” (The Love Project, Day 14)

ol sorrowsToday at HuffPosts Parents I came across this poignant article by Jackie Moore, on how she survived the death of her 19-year-old son, by following the example and advice of her father. She writes:

Daddy’s words to me were simple and direct: “Don’t stop talking about him. You say his name everyday.” I’m not sure if I would have taken such direct advice from just anyone, but I knew my father’s experiences with loss. Daddy’s advice was him speaking what he had lived. The way I knew about my aunts, uncles and paternal grandparents was because Daddy didn’t stop talking about them. He said their names and his eyes lit up with the memories they invoked.

Every time I called him in the weeks and months after Jordan died, sometimes barely able to speak because I couldn’t catch my breath from crying, he would calm me, soothe me, always telling me he wished he could take some of the pain away. He never failed to remind me of his feeling that holding in my grief would make me sick. Then he would ask, “Are you talking about Jordan? You make sure you keep talking about him.” I always told him, “Yes, we talk about him everyday.”

To read the whole article, click here.

Today’s Love in Action: Do you know someone who has lost a loved one? Encourage that person to tell you a story of her loved one’s life. In that way, you will walk alongside your friend and share her burden, if only momentarily.

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2 Comments

  1. Listening to someone, especially a bereaved parent, who has lost a loved one a wonderful gift. Walking with them for the long haul is also a wonderful gift. Bereaved parents, in particular, often walk a long and lonely journey. Our son and his best friend died when they were broadsided by a drunk driver. He, too, was 19 years old, and his death nearly killed me. It’s been a long journey, for sure, when people who are normally kind had a tendency to disappear rather than walk through such deep and prolonged grief that accompanies the death of a child.

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    1. Rebecca: Thank you so much for taking time to write about your experience. I’m so sorry for your loss — what a terrible thing to endure. Heavenly Father, hold your daughter Rebecca especially close to your heart today. Blessed Mother, you know what it is to lose a son through a violent death. Pray for Rebecca and her family, that they would experience light in their shadows. Amen.

      Like

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