Begin with the Prayer of Abandonment
How do you and your husband play together? Before we married, Craig was an avid cyclist and ballroom dancer (we met at the U of M Ballroom Dance Club). I used to do a lot of cross-stitching, and we both enjoyed traveling. Between the two of us, we’ve managed to circle the globe. But as the years have passed, we’ve slowed down a bit. Quite a bit. As in, our idea of a good time is sharing a glass of wine and a good movie after the kids go to bed. Yessir, life in the fast lane!
Over time I’ve come to understand that there are at least two kinds of diversions: those that are purposeful and intentional, and those that are time-wasters. The first kind tends to build up ourselves and our relationships with other flesh-and-blood people, the other tends toward isolation and incite interior restlessness.
The lovely part of marriage is that there is always someone nearby to distract you when you are stressed-out, overwhelmed, or otherwise in need of a little fun. The question is: are you still that person for your spouse?
Do you provide for him diversion, solace, and understanding?
Do you let him retreat into his “man cave” for a time when he seems to need it – even if it means riding herd on the kids for a bit longer until he catches his second wind?
When he seems “stuck” in his work mode, do you help him gain perspective with a pleasant diversion, enticing aroma, or timely kiss or shoulder rub? Or do you roll your eyes as if to say, “Here we go again!”
Honest, now: When your husband gets stuck in “work” mode, how often do you listen halfheartedly without ever taking your eyes off the computer screen?
“A worthy wife brings joy to her husband, peaceful and full is his life” (Sirach 26:2).
Today’s challenge: Think of something you liked to do when you were dating, and (if possible) re-create a similar experience! (Don’t forget to turn off the computer and make sure all electronics and other distractions are set on “mute” or “off”!)
Today’s prayer: Lord, I want to be a safe place for those I love. Show me where I need to adjust my priorities, so I have ample time for the people who need me in real life!