Last night my son didn’t want a book story. He wanted a “Mommy story.” It had been a rough day — lots of snarking about the unreasonable and arbitrary limitations mothers put on their poor, defenseless children. (I’m paraphrasing here.) Listening to him, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’m destined to join the ranks of adoptive parents who are (sometimes publicly) denounced for not living up to the “perfect parent” image. I hope not.
But just to be safe, I thought I’d put the whole “Mean Mommy” to rest by giving my wonderful son … another perspective.
Once upon a time, there was a MEAN, MEAN MOMMY!!! (Uttered in best growly voice. Pause for giggles.)
This MEAN MOMMY had two beautiful children, Christopher and Sarah. (Maddy’s ears perk up at this.)
Every day MEAN MOMMY would make them do their homework, pick up their clothes, and tell them they couldn’t watch TV or play DS anytime they want. They even had to eat their VEGETABLES instead of PEEPS. (“But I like vegetables,” Christopher observed.)
And every day poor, poor little Christopher and Sarah would have to go to bed WAAAAAAAAAAAY early so they would be fresh-faced for school the next day. While MEAN MOMMY sat in the living room, watching TV and eating all the Peeps! GRRRRRRR!
Poor Christopher would lay in bed at night, wishing very hard that MEAN MOMMY would go away, and he could have a better mommy. (Guilty looks.) One who would let him watch TV before homework, who didn’t make him read, and did all the work around the house all by herself. One who never yelled, or made him sit on the stairs, or made him walk the dog. (Christopher’s eyes brightened up at this. “YEAH!”)
But then one day . . . something sad happened. MEAN MOMMY fell down, and hurt her back. She was in the hospital for three days. (Christopher gets sober at this, remembering the time I was in the hospital.) And no one remembered the snack in the car. No one knew how to make bird-in-the-nest. No one knew how to fill his love banks the right way. No one remembered the Jell-O with oranges or strawberry syrup at the grocery store.
And when she finally came home, MEAN MOMMY seemed like the very best mommy in the whole world. She is definitely the happiest mommy in the whole world . . . because she has the very best kids. *MWAH!*