Adoption “Unnatural”?

Hey, Al … Where’s Heidi?

If you got my newsletter today, and tuned in to “Kresta in the Afternoon” wondering where I am … tune in again on Thursday! We’ll be having a lively discussion about EMN and adoption at 3:00 EST. Don’t have Catholic radio in your neighborhood? Just listen in by computer by clicking here!

This afternoon I was also on Lisa Hendey’s “Catholic Moments” podcast. Right after the podcast, Lisa was leaving to attend the funeral of an eighteen-year-old boy, Russell, who was in a skateboarding accident last year, and finally succumbed to his injuries. Please pray for the soul of this young man, and for his mother, Cathy.

Mighty Mom sent this link to me today, a YouTube clip about “the dog who had cats for lunch.”

If animals are capable of cross-species “adoption” — how much more should we be willing to tend to the needs of children in need of families?

Are you a struggling adoptive parent? Is your child acting out in ways you are afraid you are not equipped to handle? Is she so destructive you are afraid to leave her alone? Is the reality of parenthood turning out to be harder than you thought it would be? Are you seriously considering just throwing in the towel?

You are in our prayers today. Take a deep breath, then find a way to take a break — hire a babysitter for a couple of hours, or talk to your agency about finding respite care (preferably someone who speaks your child’s language, if he or she is foreign-born). Then go to a coffee shop and read this article at “Destinations, Dreams and Dogs” about meeting the challenges of raising older adopted children, particularly those from Russia (though her wisdom translates well to foster children, too!).

Thanks to “O Solo Mama” for sending it!

Above all, hang in there, and remember the words of St. Teresa of Avila:

Let nothing trouble you, let nothing frighten you.
All things pass away, but God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
She who possesses God, lacks for nothing.
God alone suffices. 

5 thoughts on “Adoption “Unnatural”?

  1. “If animals are capable of cross-species “adoption” — how much more should we be willing to tend to the needs of children in need of families?”

    I totally agree.
    I would also argue that, particularly as human beings have an advanced capacity for reasoning as well as for introspection, a primary one of those needs is to know the identity of their biological parents – as well as, if at all possible, their immediate and wider biological families.
    Personally, I can’t imagine what it must be like to know that this information is out there, but that I am denied it.

    Here’s a curious little titbit on cross-species adoption that I’ve always found amusing:
    ” One female baboon had so capacious a heart that she not only adopted young monkeys of other species, but stole young dogs and cats, which she continually carried about. Her kindness, however, did not go so far as to share her food with her adopted offspring, at which Brehm was surprised, as his monkeys always divided everything quite fairly with their own young ones. An adopted kitten scratched this affectionate baboon, who certainly had a fine intellect, for she was much astonished at being scratched, and immediately examined the kitten’s feet, and without more ado bit off the claws. “


  2. Thanks for sending that along, Kippa.

    This website is primarily for mothers of adopted children, and helping them to work through the challenges of adoptive, foster, and special-needs parenting.

    While I’ve spent quite a bit of time lately addressing the open records issue (it is a topic that is relevant to adoptive parenting), I’m going to be moving away from the topic in the near future because my sense is that — if I allowed it to — it would create an imbalance on the blog. Frankly, there are topics that are more relevant to my readers. And at this point, apart from my article at CE (which I have submitted but haven’t heard back from the editor yet), I don’t anticipate writing about the subject of birth records on this blog again in the near future.

    This post was not about birthfamilies, but about adoptive families. I’d appreciate your sticking to the subject at hand in your comments. Thanks!


  3. “Thanks for sending that along, Kippa.”
    Not at all. My pleasure.

    As an adoptive mother myself, I’m surprised that the subject of open records isn’t of great importance to your general readership.
    Never mind. If it isn’t now, I’m sure it will become so in the future.

    “This post was not about birthfamilies, but about adoptive families. ”
    Pardon my turkey. I thought it was about the needs of children in need of families.
    My bad.


  4. As I’ve said — several times — the issue is of importance (which is why I published the article in the first place).

    However, in any discussion in which there is more than one strongly held viewpoint, there comes a time when further discussion is an exercise in frustration — and I believe that, where mandated open records is concerned, we’ve arrived at that point.

    This is a complex issue with a divergence of strongly held opinions. I appreciate your drawing my attention to the Samuels material and the rest. And now, I’d appreciate your respecting my right to moderate this blog. I’ve provided the information for others to draw their own opinions, based on their own reading. Perhaps at some point down the line, I’ll post something related to this issue. But it’s time to move on.

    I suggest that if you want to take up the discussion further, you simply link to the articles and posts here and continue the discussion on your blog. Thanks!


  5. oh good grief, it’s a funny and cute little video showing how in the animal kingdom adoption takes place, even across species.

    It’s actually very common for ranchers who find themselves with a motherless calf to “graft” that calf to another cow to raise. This, friends and neighbors, is adoption.

    The open vs closed, domestic vs international, private vs agency are all details.

    lets take a min and admire the forest…..the trees will still be there for deconstructing later.


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